英语幽默小段子-英语幽默段子简单
老板你们家辣条我全要了！
关于很好笑的简单英语笑话：Jewish cuisine
A Jewish family invited their redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and their hostess announced, "This is soup made with matzo balls."
Seeing two large matzo balls in the soup, the redneck man was very hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. The Jewish couple gently urged him to try it. "Just give it a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it," they said reassuringly.
Finally, he agreed to give it a try. He dug his spoon in, picked up a small piece of matzo ball with some soup in the spoon, and gingerly tasted it. The usual 'mmmm' sound could be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.
"I must say, that was quite delicious," he said, "but I was wondering….Are there other parts of the matzo you can eat?"
关于很好笑的'简单英语笑话：My Forehead
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now."
He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix
the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so."
"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."
To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead?
I don't think so."
"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break."
"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I haveAce Hardware written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!"
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is
working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"
She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was
either screw him or bake him a cake."
He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"
She replied, "Hellooooo... Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"
关于很好笑的简单英语笑话：A Redneck's Kindness
An Irishman in a wheelchair rolls into a bar and asks the waitress for a cup of coffee. He then looks over at the bar and asks the waitress, "Is that Jesus?" The waitress says that it is, so the Irishman says, "Give him a cup of coffee... I'll pay."
A few minutes later, an Englishman with a humped back walks in and asks the waitress for a cup of tea. He then asks the waitress, "Hey... is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nods and so the Englishman says, "Give 'im a cup of tea... on me."
A few minutes later, a Redneck walks in on a pair of crutches. He says, "Hey, sweet thang... how's 'bout an ice-cold coke. Holy smokes... is that Jesus?" The waitress says, "Sure is." So, the Redneck says, "Give the ol' boy a coke... put it on my tab."
Later, Jesus gets up to leave, walks over to the Irishman, touches him and says, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman gets up out of his wheelchair and dances a jig out of the door.
Jesus walks over to the Englishman, touches him and says, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman stretches out his back and does backflips out the door.
Jesus walks over to the Redneck. Then, the Redneck gets up, backs away, and says, "Stay away from me... I'm drawin' disability!"
关于很好笑的简单英语笑话：Deer Hunters
Two redneck hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their pickemup truck. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey," says the lone hunter, "I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the opposite direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the lone hunter left, the two rednecks decided to give it a try. A little while later one says to the other, "Ya know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yep," the other added, "but we're gittin' further away from the truck...."
关于很好笑的简单英语笑话：Vacation Advice
Bob says to Lester, "You know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to go to Hawaii, I went to Hawaii, and Marie got pregnant. Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas, I went to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again." Lester says, "So what you gonna do different this year?" Bob says, "This year, I'm takin' Marie with me..."
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