TED英语演讲稿：拥抱他人，拥抱自己[1]

embracing otherness. when i first heard this theme, i thought, well, embracing otherness is embracing myself. and the journey to that place of understanding and acceptance has been an interesting one for me, and it's given me an insight into the whole notion of self, which i think is worth sharing with you today.

拥抱他类。当我第一次听说这个主题时,我心想,拥抱他类不就是拥抱自己吗。我个人懂得理解和接受他类的经历很有趣,让我对于“自己”这个词也有了新的认识,我想今天在这里和你们分享下我的心得体会。

we each have a self, but i don't think that we're born with one. you know how newborn babies believe they're part of everything; they're not separate? well that fundamental sense of oneness is lost on us very quickly. it's like that initial stage is over -- oneness: infancy, unformed, primitive. it's no longer valid or real. what is real is separateness, and at some point in early babyhood, the idea of self starts to form. our little portion of oneness is given a name, is told all kinds of things about itself, and these details, opinions and ideas become facts, which go towards building ourselves, our identity. and that self becomes the vehicle for navigating our social world. but the self is a projection based on other people's projections. is it who we really are? or who we really want to be, or should be?

我们每个人都有个自我,但并不是生来就如此的。你知道新生的宝宝们觉得他们是任何东西的一部分,而不是分裂的个体。这种本源上的“天人合一”感在我们出生后很快就不见了,就好像我们人生的第一个篇章--和谐统一:婴儿,未成形,原始--结束了。它们似幻似影,而现实的世界是孤独彼此分离的。而在孩童期的某段时间,我们开始形成自我这个观点。宇宙中的小小个体有了自己的名字,有了自己的过去等等各种信息。这些关于自己的细节,看法和观点慢慢变成事实,成为我们身份的一部分。而那个自我,也变成我们人生路上前行的导航仪。然后,这个所谓的自我,是他人自我的映射,还是我们真实的自己呢?我们究竟想成为什么样,应该成为什么样的呢?

so this whole interaction with self and identity was a very difficult one for me growing up. the self that i attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again. and my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from my self being rejected, created anxiety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time. but in retrospect, the destruction of my self was so repet