幽默英语笑话

时间:2017-06-06 14:20:46 笑话 我要投稿

幽默英语笑话精品

  笑话由于其滑稽可笑的'特点而为人们长久以来所喜爱。而人们对笑话的热衷与喜爱也促使人们在开怀捧腹的同时对笑话为何能够使人发笑这一问题进行思考。阳光网小编精心收集了有关于幽默英语笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

  有关于幽默英语笑话:Goldfish Passing

  Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"

  "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

  The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

  Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your fricking cat."

  有关于幽默英语笑话:Playing Octopus

  his guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."

  Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.

  The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.

  The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.

  The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set ofbagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it. He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.

  After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says, "Come on now! Play it!"

  The octopus replies, "What do you mean play it?! If I can figure out how to get the plaidpajamas off of it, I'm gonna screw it!"

  有关于幽默英语笑话:The Mime and the Lion

  One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

  However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.

  The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

  The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

  However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.

  Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

  At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.

  Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.

  Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick andpounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

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