外国经典幽默笑话

时间:2017-05-22 11:40:36 笑话 我要投稿

外国经典幽默笑话

  笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面阳光网小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!

  外国经典幽默笑话:考验

  The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD),the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

  洛杉矶警察局、联邦调查局和中央情报局都在尽力证明他们在抓捕罪犯方面是最好的。总统决定考验他们一次。他往森林里放了一只兔子,每一方都得抓住它。

  The C1A goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

  中央情报局进了森林。他们在森林里布满了动物密探,他们质问所有的植物和矿石目击者。进行了三个月的广泛调查之后,他们宣布兔子根本不存在。

  The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,killing everything in it,including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.

  联邦调查局进人了森林。两个星期后仍然没有进展,最后他们烧了森林,杀死了里面所有的一切,包括那只兔子,并且他们没有为此而道歉。

  The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay! Okay! I am a rabbit! I am a rabbit!”

  洛杉矶警察局进人了森林。两个小时后他们带着一只被打得遍体鳞伤的黑熊走出来。这只熊喊着:“好吧,好吧!我是只兔子!我是只兔子!”

  外国经典幽默笑话:我的房间在哪

  A deaf couple checks into a motel very late at night. Upon moving into their assigned room, they go to bed. But in the middle of the night, the woman has a headache,so she goes into the bathroom for aspirin. But she finds none,and remembers that the bottle of aspirin is still in the car. Afraid to go out alone at night, she awakens her husband and asks him to go and get the aspirin from the car. The very groggy husband puts on his robe and toddles wearily outside. He finds the bottle of aspirin in the car's glove compartment, and gets ready to go back to the room when he realizes something: he can’t remember which room was his

  一对耳聋的夫妇在深夜住进了一间汽车旅馆。一进了定好的房间他们就躺下睡了。但等到半夜,妻子觉得头疼,于是就到卫生间找阿司匹林。可是她没有找到,这时她想起来在车上还有一瓶。她不敢深夜独自出去,于是就叫醒她的.丈夫,让他出去从车上拿那瓶阿司匹林。晃晃悠悠的丈夫穿上睡袍,东倒西歪地走出门外。他在汽车仪表盘的贮物箱里找到了阿司匹林,当他准备回房间时,他想不起来到底哪间才是他的房间。

  He thinks and thinks and then gets an idea. He opens the car again and honks the steering wheel horn several times. Within a minute,all the motel’s windows lighten up--except one window, and of course, he makes for the room with that window.

  他想来想去,最后想出了一个主意。他打开车门然后按起了喇叭。不到一分钟,整个汽车旅馆里除了一间还黑着灯,所有的窗户都亮了。当然,因此他找到了自己的房间。

  外国经典幽默笑话:只听上帝的安排

  A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!

  一个男人孤独的在海滩上散步。突然他听到一个低沉的声音:“挖!”

  He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG!

  他环顾周围一个人都没有。他认为他一定是产生了幻觉。然后,他又听到了那个声音:“我说,挖!”

  So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands,and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.

  于是,他开始用双手在沙地上挖,挖了几英寸后他发现了一个小箱子,上面还有一把生锈的锁。

  The deep voice says: OPEN!

  那个低沉的声音说:“打开!”

  0k,the man thinks, let’s open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock , and when the chest is finally open , he sees a lot of gold coins.

  那个男人决定把那个箱子打开。他找到一块石头敲开了锁。当箱子打开时他看到里面全是金币。

  The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO!

  那个低沉的声音说:“去赌场!”

  Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.

  那个男人一想赌场只有几英里远,于是就带着那个箱子去了赌场。

  The deep voice says: ROULETTE !

  那个低沉的声音说:“轮盘赌!”

  So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables,where the players gaze at him with disbelief.

  他把所有的金币都换成了轮盘赌的筹码,当他走到一个轮盘赌的桌子前,所有的人都用怀疑的目光看着他。

  The deep voice says: 27!

  那个低沉的声音又说:“二十七!”

  He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts.Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stays at the 26.

  他把所有的筹码都压在了二十七上。那个赌桌都快放不下了。当那个球在轮盘赌上转动时每个人都安静了下来。最后,它停在了二十六上。

  Finally, the deep voice says: This is called BAD LUCK ! My son!

  最终,那个低沉的声音说:“我的孩子,这就叫做‘倒霉’!”

  外国经典幽默笑话:谁是乔治•华盛顿

  有一位老师问了一个学生很多问题,但那个学生一个问题也回答不上来。于是,老师决定问他一些非常简单的问题,使他能答对几个。

  A teacher was asking a student a lot of question,but the student couldn’t answer any of them. The teacher then decided to ask him some very easy question so that he could get a few right.

  她说:“班克·希尔是什么?”

  "What was Banker Hill?" She said.

  这位学生想了一会,然后回答:“一个飞机场?”

  The student thought for some time and then answered,"an airport?"

  老师说:“不!是一场战役!”她有点生气了,但是她还是尽量不表现出来。接着,她问道:“美国的第一任总统是谁?”

  "No, it was a battle," the teacher said. She was getting a little angry now, but she was trying not to show it. Then she asked,"Who was the first President of the United States? "

  这位学生想了好长的一段时间,但还是一言不发。老师非常生气,大声喊道:“乔治·华盛顿!”学生站了起来,开始走回自己的座位。

  The student thought for a long time, but didn't say anything. Then the teacher got very angry and shouted,"George Washington!" the student got up and began to walk towards his seat.

  老师说:“回来!我没叫你回去!”

  "Come back!" the teacher said. "I didn’t tell you're to go."

  这位学生说:“哦,对不起!我以为你叫下一位学生呢!”

  "Oh,I'sorry ," the student said,"I thought you called the next studen疲倦:大便时不知不觉就睡着了。 值得:在旅游景点的公厕大便时花了五毛钱。 节水:在树林里大便。 罗嗦:拉完了站起来,站起来又想拉。 余威:你从卫生间出来后,八小时内无人敢再进。 结巴:拉兔子屎。 爽快:一锤定音。 细心:冲水之前先用棍子敲碎。 怯场:比赛之前总想去大便。 分享:开着门大便。 狂喜:便秘持续四天之后一泻为快的感受。 灵巧:能及时避开马桶里溅起来的水。 卖力:青筋暴露,双颊发紫,全身发抖。 闹鬼:感觉拉出来了,卫生纸上分明还有痕迹,但马桶里却什么也看不见。 精明:从不占用下班时间大便。 习惯:每天都很准点,到时间必须大便。 飘忽:拉不出来,但又总觉得有。 幸运:马桶底部留下类似急刹车的痕迹。 不幸:裤子脱下来之前已经结束。 干净:不管怎么擦,卫生纸上都留不下东西。 卖弄:冲水之前一定要让大家去参观。 幽灵:马桶里有大便,但谁也没去过卫生间。 勇气:闹肚子的时候尝试着放屁。 淘气:一边大便一边画海螺。 风险:第一次冲水,马桶装满,还冲不冲第二次? 虚伪:好像是在大便,实际上连屁也没放一个。 远见:吃完泻药后立刻备足卷纸坐到马桶上。 着急:一家三口全闹肚子,但卫生间只有一个。 顽固:老是浮在水面上,怎么冲都冲不走。 突然:在没有任何心理准备的情况下大便,如:放屁时,做直肠检查时,与爱侣亲热时…… 浪漫:没有音乐和咖啡就无法大便。 直率:从大便能看出昨天吃的是什么。 排场:每次大便之前必先放三个响屁。 自卑:擦了整整一卷纸,但还是觉得没擦干净。

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