带翻译英语笑话大全
一脸享受的阿汪，真是让人羡慕！
短一些英语笑话带翻译：离事故有多远?
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.
一位木匠正在为他目击的一起事故作证。
The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.
法官问他当时离事发现场有多远。
The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".
木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。
"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.
法官问：“什么?你怎么能这样确定?”
"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.
木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定会有傻瓜问我这个问题，所以我事先测量了一下。”
短一些英语笑话带翻译：你纳税了吗?
A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to reviewhis records.
一个神色紧张的纳税人正闷闷不乐地和前来查帐的国税局的税务审计员交谈。
At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed tolive and work in the USA.
审计员一度大声地说，“Carelton先生，我们认为能在美国生活和工作是莫大的荣幸，
As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with asmile"
而作为一个美国公民，您也有纳税的义务。我们希望您能无比乐意地带着微笑来纳税。”
"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were goingto want me to pay with cash."
“谢天谢地”，Carelton先生咧着嘴大笑地回答，“我还以为你们是要我带着钱来交税呢!”
短一些英语笑话带翻译：交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...hit his car broadside, and knockedhim cold.
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。
Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.
路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。
He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.
刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。
Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so.
过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，
He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing.
他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，
I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody wasstanding in front of the 'S.'
当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’，但是有个人挡住了那个s。”
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。阳光网小编分享爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译 ，希望可以帮助大家!
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译 ：an absent-minded professor 健忘教授
No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor. He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. "Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."
毫无疑问，我的同事、Martin神父是个有点健忘的教授。他经常到别的教区给生病的牧师替班。一个周六，他又坐火车出发了，但到验票时，他却怎么都找不着放在衣服口袋里面的火车票。因为老坐火车，列车员认得教授，因此对他说，“不用找了，我想你肯定已经买过票了。”“我得把票找出来”，Martin神父不安地回答。“我得弄清楚我是要去哪”。
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译 ：哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊?
How could anyone stoop so low?
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
我们的.餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴，和蔼而又快乐的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我应该说，他是有点矮!一天，经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入，高声说，
“有人拿了我的钱包!”
我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声，但有人却蹦出一句话：
“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”!
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译 ：Shave head 刮头
Recently, a man walked into my barbershop asking how much for a haircut. "Eight dollars," I answered. "And for a shave?" "Five dollars." "All right," he said, settling into the barber chair. "Shave my head."
前些日子，有一男的来到我的理发店，问剪一个头要多少钱。
“八美元，”我告诉他。
“那，刮次胡子呢?”
“五美元”。
“那行”，那男的边说边坐到了理发椅上，“来，给我刮刮头吧”。
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译 ：Speeding 超速
Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. "Don't you ever look at the speedometer?" the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. "As fast as I was going," I admitted, "I was afraid to take my eyes off the road."
因为旅行推销员为了谋生需要拜访尽量多的客户，所以超速飞车赶场对于他们来说也不是没有过的事情。有一次我就因为超速度行驶被一个公路巡警拦了下来。“你有没有看过你的时速表?”那名警官责问。当我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已经太晚了。“车开得越来越快”，我如实地说，“我的眼睛得一直盯着前面，没敢看别的”。
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译 ：一睡醒，你就被炒鱿鱼了
Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."
我的同事有好几小时不见人了。我们疯了地到处找他。最后老板发现，他正在睡大觉。没叫醒他，老板悄无声息地在我的同事的胸前放了个纸条。“睡觉时”，条上写着，“你是我的员工，醒来你就不是了。”
【带翻译英语笑话大全】相关文章：