英语幽默笑话带翻译篇
这妹纸好像很喜欢香蕉，出门散步都带着
关于篇1
What Will Be the Headline
When a man in Macon, Ga. , came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbedthe animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated theman and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by KillingVicious Animal. "
The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon.
"Well, then," the reporter said, the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by KillingDog. '"
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline will read ,'Yankee Kills Family Pet.'"
标题是什么
一位男子在乔治亚州的麦根城遇到一条狗在袭击一个男孩。他敏捷地用两手卡住了狗的脖子并掐死了它。一位记者目睹了这件事，向这位男子表示祝贺并说次日的新闻标题将是：“本地男子杀恶畜救孩童”。
然而，这位英雄却告诉记者他不是麦根人。
“那么，”记者说，“标题可能为‘乔治亚男子杀狗救孩童’”.
“实际上，”那男子道，“我是康涅狄格人。”
“这样的话，”记者怒气冲冲地说，“标题将是‘北方佬杀死家庭爱犬’”
关于英语幽默笑话带翻译篇2
I'm a police officer
When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by twoferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they toreout into the yard.
Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's allright, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."
"Not a very brave one," 'she observed.
我是警察
在我丈夫杰克还是警察的时候，一次他走近有两只恶狗看守的庭院。那两只狗奋力地扑抓纱门，把门弄开了并冲到院子里。
杰克反应迅速，三步并两步地跨入房子里，牢牢地关上身后的.门。“没事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”
“可不是很勇敢的一个。”她淡淡地说。
关于英语幽默笑话带翻译篇3
A Tough Teacher
A school teacher friend of mine injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around theupper part of his body. On his first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he wasassigned to teach the most undisciplined class. Stepping confidently into the rowdyclassroom, he opened the window as wide as possible. Just then, a strong breeze made his tieflap. Trying to fix the tie , he took a blackboard eraser and hammered a large tack through histie into his chest.
He had no trouble with discipline that term.
强悍的教师
我有一位作教师的朋友弄伤了他的背，因此上身不得不穿石膏罩。开学的第一天，他的身上还穿着石膏罩。他被分派教最不守纪律的班级。他很自信地步入乱哄哄的教室，把窗子尽可能大地打开。就在这时，一阵强风把他的领带吹得飘起来。为了固定领带，他拿起黑板擦，把一个大头钉透过领带砸入他的胸膛。
那学期在他的课上，没有不守纪律的。
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。阳光网小编分享初一经典英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
初一经典英语笑话：There was just a dog fight
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
初一经典英语笑话：He is a very smart dog
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
初一经典英语笑话：This dog is acting bad
While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.
A passerby commented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?"
To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him."
初一经典英语笑话：Cat technical support problems
This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator.
Well, one day we got a service call that said, "Cat caught in machine, come quick!"
When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds, scratches and contusions. No sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in! Apparently, the cat absolutely freaked out and clawed at everyone who came close. They finally freed the cat, and to this day, the cat goes nowhere near the machine.
初一经典英语笑话：This is one smart dog
A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.
"An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.
"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.
The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.
The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb.
"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"
Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket.
The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog.
"Hey, what are you doing? That's a really smart dog you've got there," comments the butcher.
"He's a stupid dog--that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key.
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